Dear readers,
By the shade of D.F.W., I will attempt my best to sell you nothing, or to not sell you anything. I will try my hardest to avoid irony, parody, and ridicule, because he was his characters' God and he loved them. I will also do my levelest to be honest about my experience, which is probably more honestly spelled experiences. He made me love being an American, and I'll keep at it until I'm an honor to my country.
Thank you, D.
Signed: V.
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